The weight on my driver’s license has been the same since 2001, but friends, I can assure you that I do not weigh the same as I did in 2001. As a matter of fact, I am a solid 30 pounds heavier than I was in 2001! I just recently reflected on this—why did I lie about the weight on my driver’s license all these years? Is it because I was afraid someone would see it and thus, my true weight will be revealed, and I’d be judged by said someone? (Okay, admittedly I know a small part of me was thinking if I put that weight down, perhaps I’d achieve hitting it again!) But seriously, I think it touches on a bigger heart issue. Have you ever worried that someone else would think less of you if you told the truth about something or revealed your imperfections? My guess is that 99% of us answer a resounding “yes” to this question. And to take it one step further, have you ever gone so far as to lie in order to cover an inadequacy about yourself, i.e., make up some extravagant excuse why a work deadline was missed, avoid revealing how insecure you are about something, or even pretend to like something you don’t so you don’t stand out in the crowd? I’m guilty of all of this and more. 

Years ago, it was impressed upon me that these small lies and a lack of vulnerability could grow into bigger things if left unchecked. That my character was at stake when I wasn’t simply honest and open about my struggles and insecurities. Yes, this meant revealing a parenting struggle, or admitting an error at work when these things came with a risk of someone’s judgment. I realized that God’s judgment is far worse than someone else’s judgment. And as time went on, the more vulnerable I became, the freer I felt. I’m not talking about the overbearing oversharing; rather, the honest openness of freely being and sharing who I am, flaws and all. It opened the doors to others sharing, and gave them freedom too, knowing we’re not alone in our struggles! We are constantly students; God will use even a driver’s license to make sure we understand His Truth is perfect for all areas of our lives!

Matthew West released “Truth Be Told” a few years ago (linked at the bottom of the blog if you’d like to listen) which I believe speaks truth to how so many of us operate. I hope these lyrics encourage you as they do me each time I listen. I am reminded that we are ALL His children, ALL struggling, but we have the hope of Jesus in front of us! Here is an excerpt of the lyrics:

Lie number one: You’re supposed to have it all together
And when they ask how you’re doing, just smile and tell them “Never better”
Lie number two: Everybody’s life is perfect except yours
So keep your messes and your wounds and your secrets safe with you behind closed doors

But truth be told, the truth is rarely told (No)

I say, “I’m fine, yeah, I’m fine, oh, I’m fine, hey, I’m fine”
But I’m not, I’m broken
And when it’s out of control, I say “It’s under control”
But it’s not and You know it

I don’t know why it’s so hard to admit it
When being honest is the only way to fix it

There’s no failure, no fall
There’s no sin You don’t already know
So let the truth be told

While Jesus was not flawed, He was indeed vulnerable during His time on earth. I believe that’s why there is so much fruit in us being vulnerable. His life on earth began by being born in a stable and placed in a feeding trough—not the most royal accommodations. He was born as a human, which made Him vulnerable to physical pain, illness, and death. He faced great emotional and mental vulnerability as He carried the weight of His mission and the rejection and persecution He experienced from those around Him. He wept over the loss of His friend Lazarus, and He experienced betrayal and isolation from his disciples. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was vulnerable and distressed at the thought of His impending crucifixion and death. These are just a few examples. I believe He modeled vulnerability because it is so important in how we grow in our relationships with God and others. It can be a key in discipleship and leading others to Christ and can bear much fruit.

Honesty and vulnerability give birth to grace and acceptance (but we are sure it will lead to shame and embarrassment). It’s not always easy to be fully honest and vulnerable with others, and it often requires building relational capital and trust prior to getting vulnerable with one another. But once that’s achieved, being vulnerable with other believers who speak His truth over us in love can help us overcome feelings of shame, self-criticism, and isolation. 

Vulnerability and truth are shields against the enemy’s lies. When we harbor discomfort or pains, they seem to gain power on their own; the enemy has a field day with our isolation. Oh, the lies the enemy will continue to feed us when we hold on to shame, sin, and imperfections. It’s exactly what he wants—for us to keep those things in the dark so they can grow like weeds and choke out any spark of truth. But when these things are brought to the light, the light outshines the dark. Their power is lost. Friends, this is accomplished through our relationship with God and in community with other believers. 

Vulnerability opens the door to deeper relationships. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and truthful, we show our authentic selves and are more relatable to others. This helps to build trust and connection with others on deeper levels. As we open ourselves up to the experiences of others, we also develop empathy and compassion for their struggles. This can lead to deeper understanding and connection. When we are truthful, it demonstrates that we respect others enough to tell them the truth, and leads to mutual trust. 

Vulnerability leads to freedom. How exhausting is it to try to manage all of our imperfections by keeping them to ourselves? Or how difficult is it to hold onto bitterness, shame, and other things that, in the absence of vulnerability, will just grab a hold of us in a way that holds us hostage? Vulnerability gives us the opportunity to confront our fears, insecurities, and weaknesses and hit them head-on with God’s truth.

The rest of the main lyrics from “Truth Be Told” remind us that we are not alone in our fear and that God’s love can break through it.

There’s a sign on the door, says, “Come as you are,” but I doubt it
‘Cause if we lived like that was true, every Sunday morning pew would be crowded
But didn’t You say church should look more like a hospital?
A safe place for the sick, the sinner and the scarred, and the prodigals
Like me

Can I really stand here unashamed
Knowing that Your love for me won’t change?
Oh God, if that’s really true
Then let the truth be told.

Truth and vulnerability start with Jesus but extend to the community with which He has surrounded each of us. The façade of perfection is just that. A façade. There is no one who is perfect, except Jesus. And the lies you tell yourself about how perfect someone is or how imperfect you are will only continue to tear you down over time. But how great to know we’re not alone! Together we seek His truth for our lives. I’m sure I am not the only one to lie on her driver’s license, but let the truth be told now, the next time I renew it, I will make sure it’s reflective of the truth! (Ha, although I am still secretly praying that by the time I renew, I’ll actually hit that weight!)

Lord, thank You for Your grace and for the amazing community of believers You have put in my life. I am sorry that my lack of vulnerability and transparency has been a result of my desire to control the things around me, and the way I am perceived by others. I’m sorry for the times when I have tried to control the way that people see me when I should have been focused on how You see me because You are enough. You are everything. I pray these words bring shalom and freedom to others. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. 

*Matthew West “Truth Be Told”, released in 2021.