As I write about femininity, I must start with a confession: I haven’t always loved being a woman – and not in the “I want to be a man” way. Moreover, I thought I could have done a better job creating women than God did (how’s that for hubris?). As a pre-teen I distinctly remember thinking God got it wrong in His design of women. Going through puberty, I was angry that girls seemed to be on “display” during this delicate time, but boys could coast right through it (or so I determined). Their voices lowered, and they got taller, and maybe a little hairier, among the most apparent changes. Girls became noticeably curvier, mood swings, oh, and that pesky menstruation that seemed like nothing but a hassle – and a minefield of potential embarrassment.

However, as I grew in wisdom (and curves), I came to absolutely love God’s intentional design of women. I marvel at the physical, emotional, and spiritual framework of females. Having conceived, carried pregnancies to birth, breastfed our babies, nurtured our children, and frankly, just walking this earth as a woman, I can honestly say, I have done a complete 180 in my evaluation of God’s design. God’s design for femininity brings me to worship Him for His creative, purposeful, and perfect blueprint for women. The honor and privilege bestowed upon women – just for being women – is sacred and holy. It is not to be taken for granted or diminished.

One of the pivotal influences in my change of heart was a nine-month study I did as a young mother called, Five Aspects of Woman by Barbara K. Mouser. The study is a Biblical theology of femininity. It asks and answers the question, “Why did God create women in the first place?” After all, He had a great male design, why intentionally go in such a different, unique direction?   

I suppose I should confess something else before going any further: I didn’t want to do this study as I find myself generally leery of a lot of Christian messages about women. There. I said it. I didn’t want to do the study because I was afraid it was going to (or try to) call me to be less than. Less than men. Less than the person I am to fit into a mold that wasn’t me. I was afraid it would ask me to diminish myself to be a “Godly woman.” I was afraid it was going to tell me to turn off my mind and shut my mouth to be seen as acceptable. My fears should tell you everything about the kinds of messages I’d heard about women’s roles in the world, the Church, and in the home.

Thankfully, I went ahead with the intense study. Not only did this study not diminish women, but it was EMPOWERING using God’s design and scripture as its sources. I came away from the Five Aspects study knowing exactly who I was in Christ, and that women were never created to be ornamental afterthoughts. Instead, they were created as the final piece to complete God’s great design for this earth. Women’s roles are different, but no less important than men’s roles – and we cannot live well (or at all) without each other. As I’ve learned more about God’s creation and plan for femininity, I have developed an absolute appreciation for God’s creation and plan for masculinity (but that’s for another post).

Our culture loves to volley the masculine and feminine attributes/stereotypes and categorize them as good or bad. The Five Aspects of Women study was a paradigm shift for me in that each aspect is looked at through three lenses:

• Created (what did God intend when He created the particular feminine aspect)
• Fallen (how is that aspect displayed in a fallen world)
• Redeemed (what does that aspect look like when it has been redeemed by Jesus).

For example, one of the five aspects of femininity is life-giver. Women were created to be life-givers. The name Eve means “life” because she is the mother of all humans. Women’s bodies are life-giving by design and their hearts are created to nurture. In our fallen world, we see women choosing to terminate their role as life-giver or abuse the children they do bring into the world. A redeemed life-giver, however, has received life and love from God and is renewed continuously by God as she nurtures others.

Two famous queens from the Old Testament provide examples of the same feminine aspect being used in vastly different ways. Queen Jezebel was married to King Ahab and had leadership and influence over the Israelites. Her heart was hard and given over to false gods. When Ahab decided he wanted a vineyard and the owner would not sell it to him, Ahab pouted. Not one to let her husband be disappointed, she told the king she would get him the vineyard. Jezebel took Ahab’s royal seal, wrote a letter to the elders including false charges against the vineyard owner, framing him with treason. The vineyard owner was stoned to death and Jezebel went to Ahab, evidently proud of her problem-solving skills, and said, “Take the vineyard, it is yours” (1 Kings 21:1-15). Under her leadership, the land was in chaos. Jezebel brought Baalism to Israel, and she had prophets of God slaughtered. Even those who don’t know the details of Jezebel understand her name is synonymous with destructive femininity.

Queen Esther also had leadership and influence over Israelites. When her husband, King Xerxes signed a proclamation to kill all the Israelites in the land, Esther (an Israelite herself), had a choice to make. She could have remained silent and possibly kept her opulent life in the palace. Instead, she used her favor with the king to save the Israelites from being slaughtered. Because of her willingness to risk her position for the good of her people, the Israelites flourished. Queen Esther is esteemed and celebrated for stewarding her femininity for good.

Jezebel and Esther both worshipped gods/God. Both women were decisive, purposeful, and completely dedicated to their causes. Both had poise and perspective in the time of crisis. Both queens used their position to serve their personal purposes. In them we see how a particular feminine characteristic is only part of the story, how it is stewarded is most important.

Through the study it became apparent that when women operate in a fallen state, they bring devastation to themselves and those around them. They leave a wake of destruction. Conversely, when women operate as redeemed, they bring life not only to themselves, but those whom they care for. A redeemed woman flourishes, as do those in her domain.

Ladies, do not take hold of the low-hanging fruit of comparison to men or wishing away your femininity. You were intentionally designed to bless this earth and all who are in your sphere of influence. And we need redeemed femininity for such a time as this.

Since I made the confessions about my earlier impressions of femininity, I think I should close the loop on what the Lord did with my early grievances. I questioned His design of women. I bristled at studying the theology of women. He quelled all of my doubts about His design with His Holy Word. He gave me truth to stand on when faced with what the world says about women and femininity. And now, I tend to a lot of my time teaching and mentoring women about God’s intentional, gracious, holy, and FUN design of women.

I love what He did with my doubts about Him. He is holy and hilarious. And He loves women.

Dear Lord, thank You for designing women in such a complete, careful, creative way. And thank You for creating me as a woman. No one can read Your Word and conclude that femininity is an afterthought or a problem to be solved. Lord, may we be examples of femininity redeemed. May we be wise life-givers who are mistresses of the domain You have given each of us. Please strengthen us to be the nurturers of Your creation. We love You and are in awe of You, Lord. Maranatha! Amen.