I’ll never forget the high school Sunday school class that changed my life. It sounds a bit dramatic, and although nobody else would have known, it actually was a profound moment for me. 

For several years prior, I had lived with lots of questions and unknowns. My father had abandoned our family and returned to his home country on the other side of the world. My mother, under obvious and severe stress, coped by trying to take control, pulling herself up from her bootstraps and encouraging me to do the same. “Don’t depend on anyone” became the mantra to save ourselves from any future pain, and personally, that launched me into a journey of striving, reaching for perfection, and doing my best to control all my outcomes. It felt necessary for self-preservation.

You can imagine my reaction when, for the first time in a church setting, I wasn’t told about the rules, traditions, and penances of religion; instead, I was introduced to a Savior who is full of grace, mercy, and a deep desire for intimate relationship with us. If you haven’t already guessed, I’ll go ahead and tell you, I was blown away. And curious. Puzzled, even. How did I not know? How could this be true? Why would anyone die for me, particularly, the very Son of God? I had no frame of reference for such sacrifice purely for my benefit. “Could this be true?” I remember wondering deeply as I scanned the room to see others’ reaction to this Good News. Unlike me, however, they all nodded in familiar and heartfelt agreement. They already knew. And instantly, I looked at my fellow classmates differently. Instead of arrogantly comparing our GPAs and student accolades, I sat in awe with the recognition that they had a peace I lacked.

Immediately after class, I pulled the teacher aside and my questions flowed. I had to know more. I had to quench this thirst. Soon thereafter, I bought a Bible, continued seeking this unconditionally-loving Jesus, who cares less about performance and so much more about me. Within months, I felt an unexplainable pull to go forward at church and proclaim my faith in Him. I was more than ready for a new life, a new me transformed by His power (2 Corinthians 5:17).

But thought-patterns and neural pathways are hard to break, and I expected this new me to have a newly-made-perfect life. Surely, with Jesus, everything would go my way, right? I absolutely felt less of a burden to control everything. I understood that Jesus was more than worthy of my trust and that His yoke is easy (Matthew 11:30). I grasped that salvation was a free gift; something that couldn’t be earned (Ephesians 2:8-9). But in my new, very excited, and quite immature faith, I had imagined that with salvation, I would also arrive at a freshly perfected life filled with my great decisions and devoted obedience. (Go ahead and giggle. I look back and giggle with sweet affection for my naivety, too!)

Turns out, there’s a giant chasm between the point of salvation and the lifelong journey of sanctification (Philippians 1:6)! Thankfully, this comes as no surprise to Jesus. He’s not only completely and utterly understanding, He’s downright compassionate towards our broken humanity. After decades of faith since accepting Christ in my youth, it’s Jesus’ heart for us (sinners) that captivates me to this day. His mercies are new every single day (Lamentations 3:22-23), and oh, how we need that fresh grace!

I’ve recently been reading the book, Gentle and Lowly, by Dan Ortlund. Although I’m still in process, it’s already brought me to tears multiple times, simply by expounding on the nature and depth of Jesus’ love for us. The foundational premise is derived from the one and only time the Bible describes Jesus’ heart, articulated by Jesus Himself: “I am gentle and lowly in heart” (Matthew 11:29). If you trace back to the Greek origins of the two descriptive words, it offers a deeper clarity into the richness of their meaning. Ortlund explains that the same word for “gentle” is only used three other times in scripture, and it directly points to a meekness and humility. “Lowly” overlaps “gentle” but with much more depth than a simple virtue. It’s a humility that is thrust downward. The point of using these two words is to say that Jesus is “the most understanding person in the universe. The posture most natural to Him is open arms.” As well, He is accessible. “For all His resplendent glory and dazzling uniqueness and otherness, no one in human history has ever been more approachable than Jesus Christ. No prerequisites. No hoops to jump through.”

He’s not dazzled by your performance, nor is He disappointed by a lack of performance. He doesn’t expect perfection. He came to love people, and there’s nothing you could do to make Him love you any more or any less. Simply, His priority is sharing a close relationship with you. And He wants you to come to Him just as you are.There is no bootstrapping your way into Heaven or even into good graces. He IS grace. And his grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Even more, Ortlund goes on to say, “He does not get flustered and frustrated when we come to Him for fresh forgiveness, for renewed pardon, with distress and need and emptiness. That’s the whole point. It’s what He came to heal…He drew near to us in the incarnation, so this His joy and ours could rise and fall together – His in giving mercy, ours in receiving it.” In essence, he summarizes: “Christ gets more joy and comfort than we do when we come to Him for help and mercy.”

Can you just visualize it? Jesus is always in front of us, always there with arms open wide. He beckons us to come closer without any regard to our condition. He just wants to hold us and make things better. Because He can. And because it brings Him joy to do so. Doesn’t it feel like such a pressure release? It’s truly a beautiful, welcoming invitation to soothe the deepest pains, to release us from our striving, and to wash a rejuvenation over our exhausted souls. 

For me, Jesus flipped a life-changing switch. I know that I can reliably depend on someone, and thankfully, it’s not me! He can be trusted, and He can bring fresh grace, new mercies, and joy abounding. In fact, He IS all of those things, and He invites us all to enjoy them through Him. How will you RVSP today and every day?

Pray with me…

Lord, I come with a heart full of gratitude for who You are and how You love me unconditionally. Thank You for being completely and consistently dependable, and I praise You for the merciful way You relentlessly pursue me, no matter what. You are my greatest need and fulfillment. I love You, Lord. Amen.