Soon after I graduated from college, I found myself single, but desiring to one day be married. I was going out on a lot of first dates, but not interested in any for a second. I was hearing gongs instead of wedding bells. It was disappointing, but I did come away with a lifetime of awkward stories that my teen children have thoroughly enjoyed. At the time, I thought perhaps I was being too picky (looking back on my awkward stories, no, I was not being too picky). I decided I needed to commit the desire for a husband to prayer. Not that I hadn’t been praying, but I was praying in a general sense. I decided I needed to pray very specifically for this aspiration – all the while agreeing that God’s will is my first desire.

I decided to make a list of what I thought I wanted in a spouse and specific characteristics to pray about and hopefully recognize should Mr. Right present himself. The list consisted mostly of personality traits girded on the non-negotiable that his first love would be Jesus – not me. When I completed the lengthy list, I read back over it and was pretty darn impressed with this list of a man. As a matter of fact, I became giddy and excited at the prospect of the Lord bringing me a man who would fit my list.

Then, my excitement came to a screeching halt.

While this guy-on-paper was amazing and put Disney princes to shame, I had the stark realization that I wasn’t ready for this guy… yet. My exact thought was, “Oh, no. He’s awesome, but I’m not sure he’d want me. A guy like this is going to have a list of his own, and I’m not sure I would meet his criteria.” That was quite a realization (thank You, Holy Spirit). With this stark recognition came a new and different action.

I put the hubby-in-waiting list away, stopped focusing on this illusive man, and started focusing on Jesus. Jesus and me. I realized the standards I’d set for this guy-on-paper, in some areas, I couldn’t meet myself. I knew it wasn’t a matter of self-help or 30 days to new habits, it was a work I knew the Lord needed to do in my heart to be worthy of the man I just prayed He would bring me. I decided to ask the Lord to pour into me to become the wife a man like that would treasure – even if there never turned out to be an earthly man for me at all. For the next six months I dove into my relationship with Jesus and continued to pray for a future (awesome) marriage.

This is a clear pattern of the Lord – He stirs a desire but waits until His child is ready for the desire to be met. We like to think desire, longing, or giftedness equips us for a desire to be fulfilled. We get frustrated when we are made to wait on a desire (especially one we’ve committed to prayer). And for our purposes, I just want to be clear we are talking about Godly desires. We certainly can have ungodly/sinful desires that if followed, the Lord will not necessarily grant, but He will give us over to them (Romans 1). And our sinful desires will not be gentle with us. We are discussing desires that are not a sin.

Maybe it’s that career, a house, a relationship – whatever it is, we tend to think if our desire is strong and everything seems to be pointing in the direction of our desire, fruition should be in 5-4-3-2-1…. But desire is not enough when the Lord wants to do a work in your life.

The Israelites are a supreme example of a desire not met immediately. Or even soon. (They wanted to leave slavery in Egypt and live in the Promised Land designated just for them by the Lord.) When the Lord freed the Israelites from Egypt, He did not put them on a fast track to Canaan, the Promised Land. It took the Israelites 40 years to make it to the Promised Land. It was “promised” meaning they were going to one day inhabit this land, so said the Lord. However, even without modern transportation, their destination wasn’t 40 years away from Egypt. It would have taken them two or three months by most estimates. And yet, the Lord knew their hearts were not ready for the Promised Land. They were not ready to have their desires made into reality. The Lord had to ready their hearts.

Abraham and Sarah desperately wanted a child. They had a great desire to be fruitful and multiply. Even though God promised they would be parents when Abraham was 75 years old, their son was not born until Abraham was 100 and Sarah was 90.

God called David when he was a teenager to be king, but David did not take the throne until he was 30.

There was a bright star in the sky announcing the birth of Jesus, but His public ministry didn’t start for 30 years.

In his letters to churches, Paul often expressed his desire to see the readers of his letter face-to-face, but he always deferred to the Lord’s timing.

And yet, God is never late. His timing to fulfill His plan is perfect.

About six months after I’d put the hubby list away, the Lord brought the fulfillment of that list (and so much more) to my doorstep in the man who is now my husband. As I look back on our almost 24 years of marriage, I think about those six months of prayer often. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt (even on not-great days) that the Lord so perfectly ordained us to live this life as man and wife.

The Lord is gentle and gracious with our desires – even when we receive a “No” from Him. He is not worried about being efficient when it comes to our hearts. He will take all the time needed to turn our hearts toward Him.

Whatever is on your heart at this time, give it over to Him.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12).

Dear Lord, thank You for listening to our desires. You are a loving and gracious God. May we align our desires with Your will and Your Kingdom plan for this earth during this assigned time for us. Thank You for being right on time even though we are impatient and often think we know better. Lord, Your ways are always better than our ways. We love You, Lord. Maranatha! Amen.