Algorithms are something, aren’t they? From sending shoes that are oh so me, to serving up topics of interest that I don’t even have to search for, it’s amazing to witness how well our phones know us. My phone seems to know I’m a “woman of a certain age” and has been sending me “helpful” information about perimenopause and menopause. It kind of feels like the first time you receive something in the mail from AARP and you think it must have been delivered to your mailbox by mistake, but looky there, it’s addressed to you.

A few weeks ago, I decided to dive into the menopause rabbit hole of information, you know, to prepare for what might be coming my (and my family’s) way. I read articles, I listened to podcasts, I did diagnostic checks to see if I may have any of the gazillion negative symptoms of this non-disease. The more I researched, the more I realized there are no fun or positive sides to the menopause mosaic. There’s sugar-coating it, the symptom list stinks. Irritability, night sweats, forgetfulness, dry skin, hair loss, anxiety, frozen shoulder, and new facial hair are just a few of the offerings on the perimenopause and menopause smorgasbord. I found myself Googling “is menopause part of the curse for women in Genesis 3” after one particular podcast.

As the days of researching “for my own good” progressed, I noticed something coming over me, and it wasn’t a hot flash. It was dread. I was dreading my future. Well, not really even my future, but the future that maybe… possibly… could be… mine according to the list of symptoms associated with menopause. Did you know a rarely discussed symptom of menopause is feeling unloved? I was spiraling at the thought. I was a few days into this dread before I realized I was disaster-casting and not walking in hope. I was allowing the list of symptoms from this right-around-the-corner life stage to take ownership of my future. There are facts about menopause, but there is also Truth about the promises of the One who created women.

I knew marinating in a stew of worst-case scenarios for my upcoming life stage was at the root of my dread. I decided I needed to hit the pause button on menopause research. It’s great to be informed about possible future events, but it’s much better to pray about them. I do not want to be beholden to fluctuating hormones or led by a list of pesky symptoms. I do not worship those things, but I had been acting like they had final say in my next chapter.

I went out on a walk and laid my dread at the feet of Jesus. He is our model for dealing with every emotion, every threat, and every fear. He knew dread as His hour approached to go to the cross. He was sorrowful and troubled (Matthew 26:37) but did not continue alone in His dread. Instead went outside, fell to His face, and prayed to The Father. He was honest about His dread, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me,” but desired first and foremost to do The Father’s will, “nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39-44).

On my walk I was honest with My Father about my dread for what might be my near future according to all the information I’d been ingesting over the previous weeks. Much like David in many of the Psalms, what started as laying my problems before the Lord turned into praising Him for His promises and remembering His character. I praised Him for being sovereign over everything, even my hormones. I was thankful that He is bigger than menopause and its list of threats. I praised Him for the opportunity to depend on Him even more. He reminded me that I walk in the power of His risen Son, in resurrection power (Romans 8:11). And that one symptom that kept creeping into my thoughts, the one about feeling unloved? He reminded me that there has never been a moment in my life when I’ve been unloved, and there never will be. He calls me His own. He relentlessly pursued me, is with me always, and we are going to have a blast when we are face-to-face. Praise His Holy Name.

I prayed for about 15 minutes and by the time I said “Amen” my dread had dissipated. He renewed my mind and my perspective. My heart was comforted. It was a short time, but the Lord did a mighty work in me.

I came away with a new game plan for my next phase of life. While there are all kinds of supplements and prescriptions to help with perimenopause and menopause symptoms, my first line of defense will be putting on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:13-17) and doubling down on prayer. I do not want to walk this road without Him.  Walking with the Lord through this next life stage is paramount, and in that, I will pray for discernment for additional interventions, supplements, or prescriptions if needed.

There is a high probability that you, my reader, are going through something that is causing dread, fear, or anxiety. Maybe it’s a life-stage, maybe it’s a diagnosis, a relationship, or a hurtful circumstance. Take it to the Lord. All of it. He cares deeply about all that we are carrying in this fallen world.

In the last few days I’ve replaced symptom lists with these scriptures:

“Even to your old age and grey hairs, I am He, I am He who will sustain you” (Isaiah 46:4).

“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future” (Proverbs 31:25).

Regardless of our circumstances, the Bible is for all of us for all seasons of life. Commit to reading His Word daily and praying. Replace worrisome thoughts with scripture that speaks truth. He created us and He knows every part of us. He knows us even better than any algorithm.

Dear Lord, Thank You for never leaving Your children. You promise to be with us and guide us through this life that is full of hardships. May You be the first place we run to for comfort and reprieve. May we seek You first and may Your beautiful will be done in our lives. Lord, give us strength for the road ahead. No matter how bad our circumstances, You are only good. We love You and praise Your Holy Name. Marantha! Amen.