As we enter into a new year, 2025 is especially significant for me. This year marks 30 years of walking with Jesus. As I look back on the past three decades, thankfully, I have a lot of “awe” moments that remind me of His goodness and ever-presence in my life. There have been a lot of spiritual highs that I will never get over. However, as I think about any regrets in the last 30 years, my mind goes immediately to those times I doubted His goodness and His love for me. There have surely been bad circumstances, but only when I was tempted to believe my bad circumstances meant Jesus didn’t love me or wasn’t absolutely in control of my life do I feel a sense of regret.

I vividly remember one season in my life that was especially difficult. It seemed like bad news, failures, chaos, and near-devastation were ruling my life. It wasn’t that I’d made bad choices, or didn’t seek the Lord in everything, but He didn’t seem like He was in any hurry to change my circumstances. I had to fight the temptation to doubt that God loved me or that I could take Him at His word. In that season, my circumstances didn’t change, but my prayers did.

I started to pray, “Lord, I don’t even have words for all that is going wrong, or how to pray about it, so may the Holy Spirit intercede for me (Romans 8:26-27). All I know is that You love me and I trust You.” And sometimes I had to battle those words out of my mouth because I would be faced with a voice that hissed, “How could you think He loves you when He is unwilling to change your circumstances? How can you trust Him when He doesn’t care that you’re suffering?” And honestly, I can see how it would be hard to argue.

Except we must argue that He is only good and can be trusted. Even when there is evidence (served up by a serpent) to the contrary.

How can I say that? There are two stark reasons: 1. God has revealed His character in His Word. There is no doubting His goodness when you know who He is. 2. We have an enemy that is not creative and uses the same tricks over and over (because these tricks are very effective). His go-to strategy to divide us against the God who pursues us and delights in His children.

When I say Satan uses the same tricks over and over, I mean it. His very first interaction with humans dates back to the first ones, Adam and Eve. His first conversation with Eve started friendly enough; he even seemed concerned for her welfare. He seemed invested only in making sure she was getting everything he felt she deserved out of this life. Satan knew God told Adam and Eve not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, yet he asked Eve, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” Eve clarified that only one tree was off limits because eating from it (or even touching it) would cause them to die.

As if he had any authority, Satan replied to Eve, “You will not certainly die. For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:1-6). Satan tempted Eve not with fruit, but with doubt. He wanted her to believe God was holding out on her instead of lovingly providing boundaries for her benefit. And as we know, she and Adam fell for it. Since then, we live in a fallen world because Eve doubted God’s goodness and took matters into her own hands.

Eve might have been the first, but she certainly wasn’t the last to doubt God’s goodness. God told Abraham he would have numerous offspring – as many as the stars in the sky. However, Abraham and his wife, Sarah, were both close to 100 years old when God spoke that promise to Abraham. As the years went on, the elderly Sarah couldn’t possibly see how she could bear a child. She doubted God’s promise and sent her slave Hagar to have a child by Abraham. Years later, Sarah did give birth to a son. We continue to live in the turmoil of Sarah doubting God’s promise.

The book of Exodus is a 40-chapter volley between God choosing the Israelites, God bestowing miraculous provisions, and the Israelites doubting God’s goodness and intentions. When they faced trials, their response was to accuse and distrust God. It’s frustrating to read until we realize we have more in common with “stiff-necked” Israelites than we’d like to admit.

A few books later, Satan tried to stir doubt in Job. But Job responded to the calamity in his life – losing all of his children and possessions – with reverence for the Lord, saying, “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” The very next thing the Bible says is, “Throughout all of this Job did not sin or blame God for anything” (Job 1: 21-22). While Job is a great example of praising the Lord even in unfathomable circumstances, his story also gives us more insight into Satan’s schemes. Satan said to God, “A man will give up everything he owns in exchange for his life. But stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face” (Job 2:4-5). Satan is banking on our hurts, bad circumstances, and trials as a means to doubt God’s goodness and therefore separate us from The One who loves us to eternity.

History moved on, but Satan was still up to his old tricks of stirring doubt in believers. Who hasn’t read the account of Peter denying Jesus at His trial and hoped Peter would boldly claim the Savior he swore he would never leave? Peter, even though he had witnessed miracle after miracle with Jesus, was afraid for his own safety and security if he admitted he was Jesus’ disciple (Luke 22:57-62). With Jesus, Peter could walk on water, yet he gave into the temptation to doubt Jesus’ power (Matthew 14:22-33).

Not only is it imperative to know God and His character, but we must also be well-versed in the ploys of our enemy. It’s clear from examples throughout the Bible, and in our own lives, Satan delights when we doubt God’s goodness. It’s his foot in the door to our destruction. And make no mistake, our destruction is Satan’s goal. He is in the business of thwarting what God designed to flourish. It was a turning point in my faith journey to be able to pray in difficult trials, “I know You love me, and I trust You.” Just that short prayer in the midst of hardships keeps my doubts about God’s goodness at bay.

We can read about Eve, Sarah, the Israelites, and Peter and believe we would handle trials and setbacks differently. However, when I look at my own walk with the Lord, I can see how times of trial brought fear and doubt. Through the reading of His Word and the Lord proving Himself in my life over and over I’ve been able to turn to Him first in times of trials, trusting He loves me and is lovingly in control of my life.

Dear Lord, thank You that You are only good. There is nothing bad in You. You keep Your promises, and You are for Your children. Hush the hisses of Satan who tempts us to believe You are holding out on us. Even when we go through trials or long stretches of hurt, may we only agree to Your goodness and trustworthiness. Great is Your faithfulness. Lord thank You for my last 30 years with You. I can’t wait for the rest of my days with You that have no end. Maranatha! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.