The shanty town of Khayelitsha, outside of Cape Town, South Africa, was probably my first true immersion into poverty. The squatters have next to nothing. Their homes were sheet metal pieces, or stolen shipping containers, somehow held together with exposed wires, rusted nails, holes in walls and ceiling, flies and bugs everywhere! Going inside the shanties and seeing women dying from HIV/AIDS was not something I was prepared for, nor did I feel safe doing it, but they were so appreciative that we did. I was on my first mission trip, and our afternoons were filled with mentoring women. My “budding flower” XoLelwa had a beautiful faith, and I remember thinking, “I’ll never see her again on earth, but I’m excited that I will see her in eternity.” That’s the cool thing about Heaven, our relationships with believers come with us (Luke 16:8-9, 1 Timothy 6:17-19). During these nine days, I also heard the Holy Spirit tell me in a dingy, tented church that I was no better than them – we are all the same, no longer to think “them and us,” just us. And the Great Commission was put on my heart:

“Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in Heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’” Matthew 28:16-20.

I often refer to this mission trip as a pivotal transformation in my life. If you know Jen or me, you’ve heard about this trip, read about this trip, heck, you may have been on this trip! But God is sharing a new understanding of that experience with me today, eleven years later.

Until this blog, I haven’t connected that God gave me another great gift when I arrived home. Two weeks after returning to my comfortable, suburban life, I had coffee with Sweet lil Jacki. Don’t let her nickname fool you, she is stunning, a corporate fireball, and passionate for Jesus! Her husband introduced us, knowing we would hit it off. Though I was supposed to mentor her in finance, Jesus has always been the center of our relationship and conversations – repenting or forgiving as we share family of origin stories, rocky friend relationships, parenting, and workplace yuck. And trust me, I‘ve learned as much, if not more, from our relationship.

I cannot count the intentional time, tears, and vulnerability we have shared, including breakfasts, dress-up teas, and trampoline playdates with her young children in tow, so we wouldn’t have to cancel our meeting. Now we have a multigenerational friendship: Her kids love me, and mine love her. Who knew back then that we’d be playing Team Uno together over Christmas vacation and that her six-year-old daughter would get my eighteen-year-old son to stand up, dance, and giggle with her during the game! We sharpen each other, which is something I desperately want in my relationships. Over the years, tiny seeds fell among good soil and blossomed into a multigenerational friendship.

Growth and ultimately (hopefully) flourishing take us to places that are new and unexpected. They can be physically far away or nearby and uncomfortable. In these spaces, God transforms us. He brings new life (what the Bible calls fruit) where we least expect it. Both of these stories have been pivotal in my life, and the beauty from these experiences continues to bloom today.

But don’t be fooled, it takes time to plant seeds, water, nurture, and prune before the beauty surfaces. It takes an attitude that desires change, vulnerability to share our thorns, humility to ask for guidance, and willingness to adjust our soil (environment). And it takes time for the beauty to develop.

Can you look back and identify a point in time when your path changed direction, for better or worse? And because of that decision, a change in a habit or a relationship? Do you recognize that life is very different today from what it could or would have been?

As I type, God is revealing how both of these seeds have been spiritual nourishment within me. I’m so thankful in this time of reflection, that He is showing me how Sweet lil Jacki has practiced with me the power of repentance, the ability to pray as an intercessor, and the habit of praying aloud. Without years of practicing this with her, I wouldn’t be able to model this firsthand to the people I work with at JUMPSTART, a Christian discipleship ministry for the incarcerated. And without the week in the shanty town, I would be far more fearful to walk into American prisons. Which leads to a new area God is planting seeds for me, to assist those who need a second chance.

It still takes me aback when our released graduates say, “Prison was the best thing that happened to me.” My mind can’t comprehend how losing all your freedoms, getting separated from all the people you love, and being told what to do all day can be a transforming moment. But, I’m also shocked by the stories of childhood they’ve endured, the pain and hurt they’ve received, the authority figures’ trust that has been broken, and the things they have done. I don’t write this in judgment. I write it in gratitude for the loving two parent, safe suburban life I was raised in. And to say, my formerly incarcerated friends have survived a lot!

For some, it is from the safety and predictability of prison that they’ve learned how to forgive the trauma that was done against them and ask for forgiveness for the mistakes they’ve made. I am proud as I watch them go on interviews, with self-confidence, talking about the certifications and degrees they accomplished while in prison, the soul work they have done, and the goal to counsel others. They are relying on God, strong friendships, a desire to remain out of prison, to stay clean and on the narrow path (Matthew 7:13-14). Each step they take, a burden is removed and another possibility sprouts. They’ve lived with scarcity, and now are diving into the abundant life of Jesus. They are restoring their identity in Christ.

That’s Flourishing.

If your reflection earlier led you to identify a time in your life when your path took a harsh turn, consider that God has used (or will use) that on your path to flourishing. Recently, a friend mentioned how her faith is much stronger now as a parent. She looks back and recognizes that people tried to share God and a less harmful life in earlier years, but she didn’t choose it. She was bemoaning how much more wisdom she would have now, had she made those changes earlier. I empathized with her and also shared that faith isn’t linear. Your growth isn’t based on time, books you read, or the number of church services you attend. Faith can take off when you grab on. I know believers who’ve known Jesus since they were five-years-old and those who accepted Him a year ago. Both can be “On Fire” based on their desire to go deep and allow God to take over.

Please pray with me: Lord – Thank You for the sweet moment this week when You connected seeds planted years ago into beautiful, eternal friendships. Thank You for growing me in soil I never expected to grow roots. You can end poverty, yet I believe You are using it to teach Your upside-down world: where scarcity builds reliance on You, where lack of food leads to spiritual nourishment, where those of us outside of prison cells can recognize where we are building our own personal prisons, and then break free of them. In this environment, You’ve shown me examples of generosity of giving of time, car rides, and caring for others, that I don’t see in suburbia. Thank You God, for allowing me to know these brothers and sisters in Christ here on earth, and for eternity to come. Amen.