We all want people we can be vulnerable with, but are we people others can share their struggles with?  As Christians, we don’t have the best reputation in the area. And we should… of all people.

As a mom, I’ve repeated one phrase to myself probably more than any other: “Control your face.” When my kids were going to share big news or something they may have been afraid to tell me, I would repeat over and over in my head, “Control your face, Julie.” I knew if they shared something big with me – something vulnerable – I didn’t want my face to convey shock or disbelief and possibly shut down the conversation. It was more important to be calm and let them keep talking than to let my reaction take over the moment. I also knew the best way to ensure an end to vulnerable moments was to act stunned every time they shared something tender/hard/sad/troubling.

Our kids are now considered young adults (two in college, and one senior in high school). I think they all know my husband and I are going to react with love and support for them (maybe not the circumstance), and we can be trusted with sensitive information. Of all the things we’ve sought to provide for our kids, few things are more precious.

And it’s not just family that we need to have these safe relationships with, but people in your sphere who need a soft landing place for life’s turbulence. Years ago, there was a family we carpooled with for school. One day I drove up to their house to drop off their kids, and I noticed a “For Sale” sign in front of the house. I hadn’t heard anything about them moving, so I was very surprised. The next time I talked to the mom, I asked about the sign. I didn’t even think about it being a sensitive topic because, well, the sign was out for everyone to see. But shortly after asking about the sign and their family’s plans to move, I could tell this was a tender topic. She said her husband’s industry had taken a downturn and they could no longer afford to live in their home or send their kids to private school. I could tell she was bracing for the impact her words would have on me. She was probably wondering if I would think less of them. Or if I would pity them. Or if I was wondering what bad choices they made to get themselves into this situation.

Instead, I shared how much God had shown up when we faced a financial crisis years before. Through tears she asked how I got through it. I told her I could give her a list of tips and tricks, but the only one that mattered was this one: lean into the Lord during this time. Do not let go of Him, even when the darkest days come. The conversation was one of our longest and deepest conversations and she said it encouraged her more than I could know. I was honored she shared that vulnerable truth with me and that I could support her during a trying time.

And there are more stories I could share where I’ve blown it, making someone wish they hadn’t shared news with me because my reaction was less than gracious. It is through those interactions that I have made my reactions to big news something I pray about. I don’t want to miss the opportunity to speak a good word into someone’s difficult situation by making them sorry they even shared it with me. I’m still a work in progress, and not perfect by any means, but realizing my reactions to other people’s vulnerability can be like a holy salve on a wound has made my reactions a prayer priority.

A great model for us is the father in the Prodigal Son story (Luke 15:11-32). It’s important to remember the Prodigal Son is a parable Jesus made up. That means every detail of the story is included not because it actually happened, but because it’s something He wanted to teach us. In the story, a father had two sons. The younger son asked for his inheritance in advance (which would have been incredibly insulting to his father). The father gave the younger son his inheritance, and as soon as he had the money in his hot little hands he left to go see the world. And see the world he did. He squandered his wealth on “wild living” and ended up penniless in a pig trough.

At rock bottom, released from his fortune, and repentant of his foolishness, the younger son went back home. He was ready to beg his father to let him work for him – he no longer felt worthy to be a son, but only a hired hand. Scripture says that the father saw his younger son from a long way off and ran to him. And remember, the son had been with pigs – he was not only dirty, but he would have been ceremoniously unclean (and those listening to Jesus tell the story would have been keenly aware of this fact). Keeping that in mind, the father made it to his son and threw his arms around him and kissed him. Honestly, that would be enough. But the father represents Our Father in the story, so Jesus continues.

The son confessed his wrongdoing to the father and told his father he is no longer worthy of being a son, but would like to be a hired worker. At that suggestion, his father (again, representing Our Father) told his servants to bring the best robe and put it on his younger son, put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet, and get the fattened calf ready for a celebration feast. The father showed his son love and support at his son’s lowest point.

Wow. The father’s response to his son’s vulnerable confession is hard to fathom. It’s all at once what we want for ourselves when we are being vulnerable and what we find so hard to give others. Again, this is a story Jesus made up, but it is steeped in truth. He was showing us the character of the Father, Our Father. The One who runs to us with open arms and clothes us in His love even at our lowest points.

We live in a fallen world. But we also carry the Light of the world. Everyone we love will go through trials and will need a soft landing place to share the less shiny chapters of their lives. As Christians, are we ready to bear burdens of those who muster the vulnerability to share hard parts with us? Let’s not just desire people who will be there for us when things get difficult. Let’s be people others can be vulnerable with to lighten their load.

“He who refreshes others will also be refreshed” (Proverbs 11:25).

Dear Lord, thank You for modeling loving kindness to us so that we may show it to others. You are overjoyed when Your children are vulnerable with You – not seeking to hide or pretend when our hearts are hurting. May we be an extension of You to those who need to share their burdens. Lord, prepare our hearts for those who need a good word and encouragement during a tough time. Equip us with Your love and tenderness. We love You. Lord. Maranatha! Amen.