When I think about the blessings in my life, my friendships are always near the top of the list.

I recently lost my brother, and I was honestly blown away by the love and care people gave my family and me. Friends reached out, checked in, and showed up. Knowing they were thinking about us and praying for us meant more than I can even fully express.

When you’re walking through something hard, those expressions of care mean so much. Someone takes a moment out of their day to remember what your family is going through, and you feel loved. I’ve been grateful for each person who has done that for us these past couple of weeks. I’ve always known I have wonderful friends, but experiencing their care during this loss gave me a deeper appreciation for the people in my life. Each person who took the time to reach out reminded me how blessed I am to be surrounded by people who care.

I really do cherish my friends. I love having people to share life with, laugh with, talk things through with, and turn to when needed. As I look back over the years, I’m grateful for the people God has brought into my life and the different ways those friendships have grown. Some have been part of my life since college or even before. Others came through church, our kids’ school, or circumstances that put us in the same place at the same time. Some friendships have changed as our lives have changed. We stay loosely connected, but it still warms my heart when I hear how they’re doing. Others have grown deeper through the years, becoming relationships I depend on and hold close. I’m especially grateful for those, because those friendships are rooted in Jesus.

There is something special about sharing your life with people who know Him, love Him, and want to help you keep growing in your relationship with Him. I can bring my questions, struggles, and the things I’m still trying to figure out, without judgment. I can ask for prayer and trust that someone will actually pray.

In John 15:12–15, Jesus tells His disciples to love one another as He has loved them, and He calls them His friends. I just love thinking about that. Jesus welcomed people into a relationship with Him and let them know Him. Can you even imagine? And His example gives me so much to consider about how I love the people in my own life.

Some of these friends have known me through many different seasons. They’ve seen changes in my family, my work, my faith, and even my understanding of myself. For some, we’ve had plenty of reasons for life to pull us in different directions. Yet, God continues to hold us together.

Several have developed more recently in life (like my Good Word Project co-writers!), reminding me that He is still bringing people into my life. I love that we don’t reach an age or stage where we’re finished making meaningful connections. God has made it clear that there are still people to meet, stories to learn, and relationships that can become important to us.

As I’ve thought about my cherished friendships, a few key qualities come to mind: (The first is front and center to me, given the rough season I’ve been in.)

They pay attention.

Good friends notice what’s happening in your life. They remember something you mentioned and ask about it later. They recognize when you seem a little quieter than usual. Sometimes they reach out at just the right moment, without knowing how much you needed to hear from someone.

Being remembered is a powerful expression of love. It tells us that our lives matter to someone beyond the moments we might spend together.

They are honest and trustworthy.

I’m grateful for friends with whom I can be myself. I can admit that I’m struggling, share something I’m excited about, or feel safe to talk through a situation before I have it figured out.

This kind of trust grows over time, but each time someone listens with care, handles something personal with respect, and responds with grace, it becomes a little easier to open up again. Those friendships give us the space to be honest with each other and keep growing.

They help us turn toward Jesus.

One of the things I value most is having friends who will pray with me and for me. Friends who remind me of what is true when my thoughts are getting ahead of me or too scattered. Friends who can gently challenge me when I need it.

There is a great deal of trust involved in inviting someone to speak into your life that way. When you know their words come from love and a shared desire to follow Jesus, you can receive them differently. I’m thankful for people who care enough about me to help me grow.

Proverbs 27:17 describes one person sharpening another as iron sharpens iron. I see that in friendships where we can ask honest questions, encourage each other in our faith, and lovingly point out something the other person might need to consider. God has, time and time again, used those conversations to help me grow.

They keep showing up.

Friendship takes intention. We all have full lives, and it can be easy to let weeks or months pass while we keep meaning to reach out.

I appreciate the friends who make the call, send the message, or put something on the calendar. Caring about someone and making time for them belong together. Sometimes the effort is small, but over time, those choices help a friendship deepen. This is not always a strong suit for me, but I want to be that kind of friend, too.

Consider Jesus’ response to Mary’s grief after her brother Lazarus died. John 11:33–35 (link) describes Him being deeply moved and weeping. Even knowing He would raise Lazarus, Jesus shared in the sorrow of people He loved. That means a great deal to me, especially now. Being willing to sit with someone in their sadness is a meaningful way to care for them.

They celebrate what God is doing in your life.

It is wonderful to share good news with a friend who gets genuinely excited with you and for you. Someone who understands why an opportunity matters to you, how long you might have prayed for something, or what it took to take a bold or uncomfortable step forward. Having people who celebrate with us makes the joy even sweeter.

Romans 12:15 encourages us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. Those words capture so much of what I cherish about friendship: sharing in what matters to each other and caring enough to walk together through both the happiness and the heartache.

As grateful as I am for my friendships, I know this topic can also be a tender subject. You may be reading this and wishing you had someone like that in your life. Perhaps a move, a change in circumstances, or a friendship that ended has left you feeling less connected than you once felt. I hope you’ll keep making room for the possibility of friendship. You can begin by bringing that desire to Jesus. Ask Him to bring people into your life who will help you know Him more deeply. Ask Him to help you recognize opportunities for connection and give you the courage to respond.

I also think it is important to continuously ask Him to help shape the kind of friend you are, too. I’m asking Him to help me better notice others, help me follow through, and help me make room.

When I look at the people God has placed beside me, I see so many reasons to be thankful. We’ve prayed for each other, celebrated together, talked through hard things, and helped each other grow. Through their friendship, I have experienced encouragement, grace, joy, care, and so much more. I cherish being part of their lives as much as I cherish having them in mine.

This difficult season for our family has reminded me just how much those relationships mean to me. I feel loved and cared for by people God has brought into my life over many years and in many different ways.

Friendship is one of His greatest and sweetest gifts.

Lord, thank You so much for the friends You have brought into my life over the years. The way You have woven these cherished friendships together can only be credited to Your perfect ways. Thank You for blessing me through my friends, giving them both encouragement and truth to share with me. Thank You for the ways they make me a better follower of You. Please help me to be a good friend and honor You in all my relationships. Help me to have eyes to notice them and ears to hear their needs, and help me to be light in these friendships. With so much gratitude, I pray this all in Jesus’ glorious name. Amen.